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Dennis Jansen

February 14th, 2010

Took the Night

It is 1 a.m. and we are at St. Paul’s Camp Bar. Eric and Curt are off another room, but I am on the dance floor because Beyonce’s “Video Phone” is playing. An over-cologned Ethiopian-Somali1 guy watches me from the bar.

A remix of “Took the Night” comes on. The Somali and I exchange a look, he puts down his drink, and a full-scale vogue battle ensues.

I usually do not vogue at random bars, especially in St. Paul, but I just wasted a hour listening to a crappy cover band butcher top-40 hits. The band is on break, the video-Jockey is playing vogue music, and therefore boomkats are in order. The Somali agrees.

We give hands, dips, and duck walk as guys at the bar gawk on like “what kind of fuckery is this?” The battle lasts for the entire song. We then clear the dance floor and the cover band comes back on:

bad cover band

Surprisingly, our random vogue-off was not the hottest mess in St. Paul that night: earlier, at the Movie Bears Beer Bust, there was a 400-pound woman wearing black underwear, fish net stockings, and 3-sizes-too-small spiked heels.

Eric was so amused and wanted to pose near her, but I could not get a good shot of our Pussycat Doll because her friend blocked the view:

obesity

Normally, I would just ask the Pussycat Doll if she would pose with Eric, but she was ranting about how she didn’t understand why people were making fun of her, so I decided not to add any fuel to the drama-fire.

Last night’s beer bust was my first Movie Bears event. The club usually watches movies on Tuesdays, which is Trivia night, but they also watch horror movies on Fridays. It seems like a fun group, but I haven’t decided if I want to tack one more event onto my social calendar. Do I have time for this?


1 This is actually accurate. I asked.

February 14th, 2010

Musical Chairs at Spyhouse

Today’s stop at the Uptown Spyhouse Coffee Shop was a bit of a mess.

I wanted to blog before heading to work, but finding seating was harder than usual. I eventually snagged a seat at the counter among the Mac users and ordered coffee before realizing that there were no plugs in the area.

There were not even any plugs within “obnoxiously stretching it/creating a tripping hazard” distance. I wanted to edit pictures for the blog, but my crappy-overpriced law school-issued laptop doesn’t display on full brightness unless it’s plugged in. So I was screwed.

The upside was that I was sitting by some pretty cute guys and a fun Trubble statue:

Spyhouse Cafe

I walked to the front of the café, saw an open seat with a plug, and then scurried to grab my stuff.

The new seat was taken by the time I got my stuff, so I stood awkwardly in the middle of the café with my bag and half-full mug. Then someone took my counter seat. I felt like the loser in a game of musical chairs.

I chugged my coffee and then relocated to the Lake Street Dunn bros.

This is one of my least favorite cafes because the baristas are uncomfortably awkward. Tall gawky barista is sometimes visibly high….but there are always seats and plugs, which facilitate blograting, (new word) so no complaints here.