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Dennis Jansen

March 29th, 2010

Sick of being fashionably fat

I sucked it in like Mariah Carey at school today. I wore a snug shirt as a motivation to go to the gym. This is an old Dr. Phil trick based on the theory that discomfort is an incentive for change.

Most of us buy bigger clothes when we gain weight. We hang out with less athletic friends, pick up passive activities (that involve butter and booze), and do everything possible to be comfortable in our obesity.

With stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid it is possible for girls be fashionably fat, and it is far easier for guys to buy a bigger button-down and some Aldos to look presentable.

I’m tired of being merely presentable.

I have been in the mid-190-pounds range since last fall and I’m over it. I am through being the fashionable fat boy. I’m sick of being Jordin Sparks. It’s time to go Beyoncé:

Bam!

I’m leaving the 190′s in the next two weeks using two simple steps:

  1. Clean eating
  2. Daily exercise

That’s right. Operation Shrink a Gut: Season II just started. Where’s Brandon?

Weekly updates coming…

March 29th, 2010

Stereotypes: Aisle 12

I am not one of those perpetually offended minorities. Being pissed and victimized all the time is exhausting and conflicts with my personal motto of “I have a good disposition.”

So I was more giggles than “oh no they didn’t” upon seeing this at the Quarry’s Rainbow Foods:
Hispanic Stereotype

One of my undergraduate friends refused to buy her hair products at stores that had an “ethnic hair care” section. She thought the separation was offensive, especially since only black hair products were in the “ethnic” section.

I think my friend’s boycott was overdramatic, but I could imagine some similar racial-indignation arising out of Rainbow’s Hispanic food aisle. There is nothing wrong with grouping the Hispanic food together, but the inclusion of piñatas and religious candles is like putting the weave by the cracklins, and Buddha statutes by the curry.