It is Saturday night and Judd and I are on our way to the see “Kick Ass.” We stop at a light and try to avoid eye contact with the sign-holding beggar on the side of the road.

Beggar: “Yo brother from a different mother!”
Me: “Dad surely got around.”
Beggar: “Surely. Can you spare any money?”
Me: “Recession. I have no cash!”
Beggar: “I take all major credit cards!”
Me: “You assume I got credit.” (turning to Judd) “Do you got credit? Sorry no credit.”
Beggar: “Well, any change will do…”
Me: “Oh fine. You earned it.”

I then give him a fistful of the non-quarter change that has piled up in my car console since he successfully made it too awkward not to tip him.

Besides, the wit deserved a tip.