Fag Hags and Hood rats

I usually share viral foolishness over on facebook and twitter, but I’m going to comment on two things.

1. A Christian’s view of Fag Hags.

This article is laughably bad, for example:

“The more time a girl spends with her homosexual friends, the more she will fall under the influence of their habits and mannerisms. She might pick up homosexual fashions and dress mannishly.”

And,

“The homosexual often uses his high degree of promiscuity to gain access to overbooked restaurants (slept with a waiter), private parties (slept with the host’s boyfriend) and expensive clubs (slept with the drummer playing that night). It is an astonishingly incestuous world.

The reason for such incest? The homosexual is like a locust– limber, voracious and without conscience. They consume everything in their path, stripping the purest things bare, leaving them barren and alone in the cold night air. They will rampage through cities and cultures, whether it’s San Francisco or the Brazilians, the hallowed chambers of the Vatican or internet chat boards.

Our straight women in love with gay men don’t seem to comprehend that once they’ve been dropped off for the night at their doorfronts, the homosexual’s adventure is really just beginning.

More bars and clubs, the after-hours establishments, cocaine, crystal meth, sex bathhouses, motel room sex parties, tricking in truckstops, prancing in parks, the true nature of these men is now revealed. The lengths to which the homosexual will go to destroy any scent of propriety and humanity in themselves would shock their early-evening female companions and it begs larger questions about our culture.”

And,

“As these once-hopeful women age, they become far too accustomed to the homosexual male and far too unfamiliar with the heterosexual ones. They have false expectations for every straight man they meet. They demand these men take pleasure in shopping and watching shows like Glee. Instead of football games and grandpa’s cookouts, she’ll opt for spotting celebrities at high-end cocktail bars. No hosting bridal showers and Boca Raton weekends for them, no they’ll demand something more excessive– film noir movie marathons and New Year’s Eve parties at Mexican resorts.”

And the best part EVER:

All this time spent around gay men comes at a cost. When the firm, bass tones of masculinity command such a young woman, she will long for the shrill call of the homosexual.

When asked by a heterosexual male to be the quiet but pleasant companion at business functions or family dinners out, the girl will rebel. This is a litmus test of just how far off course she has gone.

If she is a fully formed “fag hag,” she will abandon her straight mate at these social events and lurch for the bar, ordering up a frizzy cocktail while seeking any hint of homosexuality in the bartender’s eyes.

If she has come this far, she is now fully allergic to the requirements of being a wife and the bartender’s scandalous bits of gossip whispered over margaritas will only worsen the rash of autonomy that she has developed.

Now, the author, obviously has some issues. BUT, a valid point (probably the only one) raised in the article is that some girls use their gay friends as ersatz boyfriends: the stereotype of the attractive gay guy with the overweight ever-single female friend. Everything else in the article is a hot mess.

2. Hot, ghetto-messitude.
Second thing is this video:

Don’t get me wrong – I laughed, and I laughed hard. But then I thought, “Wait, this is actually very disturbing.”

Unlike the leprechauns in the tree video, which was a stupid story to begin with, this is about an alleged rapist. Putting the ghetto brother on air completely undermines the supposed seriousness of the story and turns it into a “look at the silly hood rats” piece.

And although I hate to be “that guy”, I wonder if this station would put the white-country-yokel equivalent on air. And yes, both of those videos are from Alabama.

The ever-relevant Miss Jia also has the story.

Staying organized in law school

I got received a facebook question from a 0L (who did not take my advice to run) about staying organized in law school. My response is below. Current law students should add tips/disagree in the comments!

Notes and Binders:

Your class-note organization needs will differ whether you take notes on a laptop or hand-write. I hand-write for some classes but I invariably lose my notes to coffee or car trunk gnomes if I do not transcribe the notes quickly.

UMN law forces us to buy school laptops, but possibly the one good thing about my spastic school laptop is that it came with Microsoft OneNote, which is amazing.

OneNote is sort of like MS Word, but it looks like a binder. It has tabs, and auto-saves whatever you type. You can“print” PDFs and powerpoints into OneNote, so your folder for a class will contain everything you need come finals time. OneNote even lets you highlight the PDFs, and share your folders online if you’re feeling generous.

As far as binders and such… I would hold off buying anything other than maybe pens, one legal pad, and a bag (and please no rolly bags!) until you get the syllabi for your classes. Most of the stuff the bookstore scares you into buying (before you know what you actually need) will just collect dust under your futon.

Study Aids, Dictionaries:

And please don’t buy and supplements or study aids yet. My friends and I wasted so much money on crap we didn’t need.

Westlaw and Lexis are the two online legal research systems that your school will probably give you passwords to during orientation. Lexis has course outlines, and Westlaw has black’s law dictionary, treatises, summaries of law, and topical digests. All of it is online for free. And even if you buy the print version you’ll probably find yourself using the online version anyway because of the convenience.

And, if you cannot resist wasting money, then just get a very small pocket law dictionary. But again, everything is online, for free. If find that you desperately need a print-form-something-or-other during the semester then your school bookstore will still have it.

Time Management:

Scheduling was a little crazy for me during my 1L year because my school had Lexis training, Westlaw training, special 1L seminars, club meetings, etc. and was not very good about communicating exactly when things were.

I recommend Windows Calendar if you have a PC. Windows Calendar is a free program that comes with Vista, and it is similar to Apple’s free calendar program and Google Calendar. What I like about Windows Calendar is that it lets me set alarms, so my computer will flash, buzz, and do the chacha to remind me of an appointment.

If you have a SmartPhone, you can also use that to remind you things.

Also keep a print version of your class schedule. All of us forgot were our classes were during the first few weeks, and because no one knows where they are going, it isn’t uncommon to have a pack of 1Ls waiting in the wrong room because they saw “someone” go into it. Don’t be that person.

One more time management tip! Make “no” your default answer to things that you aren’t super-passionate about. An easy way to decline these invitations (to club meetings, bar night, canasta, etc.) is to say, “I have to decline because I think I have something scheduled for that time/day, but if anything changes I’ll let you know.”

Then, once you get in front of your calendar and reading assignment list, you can figure out if you really DO want to attend whatever you just declined.

(See also 5 steps to productivity)

Food Management:

And, although I am not sure if this fits really into the organization category, or just a time management/health thing, but, my friends and I noticed ourselves eating out a lot during 1L year.

It is far easier to suck it up and go to the grocery store once a week and take an hour on Sunday to cook basics – plain meat, rice, pasta, etc. and to throw in tupperware for the week.

Then everyday you can just pull out your tubs of pre-prepared basics, do different combinations, dress them up with whatever fresh sides (fruit, etc.) or seasonings, and then have a quick meal original meal.

It sounds like a lot of work , but this is much quicker and cheaper than waiting in line at Chipotle.

Hope this helps!


Other advice posts:

“Do you believe any of that s-?”

Whenever I get frustrated proofing this Physical Evidence Paper, I just watch the Winnebago Salesman.

It is like a crying toddler who stops throwing a fit when he sees another toddler having an even-more-dramatic meltdown at grocery store. It’s like, “Woah. Nevermind. I thought I was having a fit. I was mistaken.”

And yes, the Winnebago man has his own biopic. The trailer is here.