humor Life

So a law student walks into a liquor store…

Tonight Jamie will host a meeting for his softball team. He wants to serve cocktails, so we went to the liquor store.

We are near the refrigerated beer aisle when I say,
Me: “Why bother with Cocktails? You should just get some Milwaukee’s Best! It’s classy.
And of course there was a toothless semi-homeless man nearby, and of course he started talking to me:1
Toothless: “What’s wrong with Milwaukee’s Best?!”
Me: “Nothing. It’s the business.”
Toothless: “That’s right!”
Toothless then goes to the end of the aisle and says,
Toothless: “Come here. Let me rock you world.
A homeless man offering to rock my world? I couldn’t resist!

I walk over to the fridge, and Toothless pulls out a 20-ounce beer can of some trashy brand I’ve never heard of.
Toothless (holding the can of TrashLite): “You see this stuff? It’s only $1.34. You see the Coors? It’s $2.88! It’s over a dollar more! AND! Look!”
Me: “Oh, it’s 11% alcohol.”
Toothless: “Exactly. Get two of them and it’ll F-ya-up on the cheap.”
Me: “I’ll keep that mind.”
The toothless man grabbed a few cans of TrashLite and started walking off.
Toothless (Calling back to me): “Trust me! It’ll rock your world! Drink two of them tonight and call me in the morning! You’ll tell me I’m right.
Me: “Will do!”2


1 A rule of life is that bloggers attract The Crazy. Every time.
2 And no, I did not buy any TrashLite Beer.

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  • somewhatreasonableperson
    February 28, 2009 at 9:53 pm

    drinking seems to be a theme lately around law school circles…

  • Lawingenue
    March 1, 2009 at 8:15 pm

    Before I met my awesome husband (complete with a full set of his own natural teeth), I used to occasionally attract the toothless wonders and once I even attracted a man with no nose – just a band-aid covering that spot where it used to be. Toothless wonders wouldn’t be so bad if they didn’t feel like that had to smile big for you all the time!

  • Shantelle
    September 26, 2010 at 11:24 pm

    I met a direct descendant of Jesus on the train the other day. He told me as a law student I was about to become a servant of the crown of England and was therefore his sworn enemy and subject to death as a traitor.

    He told me he is 13th generation American and his family helped overthrow the British. I told him mine did too, and suddenly we were best friends.

    Dude! You’re looking svelte on your new masthead!

    • Jansen
      Jansen
      September 27, 2010 at 12:11 pm

      Thank you! I’m all about the glamour shots. (and here we thought Fergie had the market on airbrushing!)

      I try not to have extended conversations with the crazy. Gets me into trouble.

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