Dennis Jansen - The Official Website » 1L Fall finals

Tula or Harley?

Jansen — Thu, 23 Apr 2009 04:43:46 +0000

Barring any shenanigans, I move out this Friday.

This makes me so happy I feel like hopping around my room screaming “YES WE CAN” like Kyle’s dad.

I’ve been racking up extra hours (at work and outlining) so I can afford to take the weekend off for the move. The move shouldn’t be too bad because I don’t own any of the furniture in my fraternity room…

…which means a trip to Ikea.

The apartment is really out of my hands at the moment – the landlord is doing the obligatory criminal and credit check. And, again, barring any shenanigans (ie someone stole my identity and ruined my credit) things should be fine.

Today’s task was getting serious about finding a dog. I filled out the applications and did the follow-ups… and there are two finalists at the moment:
Tula

Harley

Tula is a pitbull. Harley is a mastiff.

There are pros and cons for each dog.

Tula pros:

Friendly
Cheaper monthly expenses (smaller dog)
High energy, but not a spaz (good running dog!)
Used to being inside
Well behaved

Tula cons:

Pitbulls have an extremely bad reputation
Mom wigged out ala, “OH MY GOD I WILL NEVER VISIT YOU IF YOU GET THAT DOG!”
Tula’s mom isn’t a 110% sure that Tula is house broken

Harley pros:

Friendly
Mastiff is my dream dog
Potty trained
Less likely to destroy furniture

Harley cons:

More expensive (monthly costs, bigger dog)
Foster parent hasn’t been as communicative with me, so I’m relying more on the advertisements for the dog.
Mastiffs SNORE…

I know what I’m getting with Tula, whereas with Harley…hm. While I don’t think it would be a disaster per se, Harley is definitely more of a wild card. Oh what ever shall I do?

Tula or Harley?

Regrouping

Jansen — Sat, 20 Dec 2008 03:38:28 +0000

My last exam was civil procedure.

Civpro is my favorite class, but the exam was… difficult. My housemate felt more strongly about this:

Housemate: “That wasn’t multiple choice! That was multiple rings of hell!”

Half of the gamma (legal fraternity) house is cleared out. The rest of us are leaving at the end of the weekend.

Most of us are tired… and others…

Since the semester ended there have been lots of festivities. I’ll have a legitimate post (and vlog!) tomorrow!

Mrs. Rush the fashion icon?

Jansen — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 02:55:27 +0000

So, I forgot to mention that the day of my torts final there were several girls in my class who wore t-shirts that read (something like): “Whenever you feel like you’re drowning in shit remember Mrs. Rush.”

And it made my day. It really did. A summary of Rush v. Commercial Realty Co is here.

Battle of the bruised

Jansen — Thu, 18 Dec 2008 01:23:21 +0000

While attempting to describe tomorrow’s civil procedure exam to Jamie:

Me: “Not being able to use notes on a civpro exam is like being forced into a blindfolded gymnastics competition and the being compared to all the other gimpy, blindfolded contestants.”

**** two hours later….

Jamie (coming into dining room): “I hear too much music out here. I don’t think you’re studying.”
Me: “Yeah huh! I’m reviewing dispositions…dysput…desspu… damn it I can’t say it… DESPOSITIONS! RULE 27!”
Jamie: “You’re fried.”

Crossclaim Showdown: Boy George, Solange, and Beyonce

Jansen — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 21:39:29 +0000

I don’t even if care if I get a C… I’m having too much fun…

Note: Solange suing Boy George back = counterclaim whereas Solange suing Beyonce is a cross-claim.

Correction: Also, Solange wants Beyonce to indemnify her* not to indemnify Beyonce.

You can bring unrelated claims or counterclaims 13(b)/rule 18… as in the Lindsay Lohan hypo.
You may not bring unrelated crossclaims (as Solange originally tried to do above.)
A crossclaim has to be derivative – “If I owe the person suing me. You owe me.”

Lindsay & Vanessa present: FRCP Rule 18a

Jansen — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 19:52:48 +0000

One more exam. It’s hard to focus…and yes, it’s come to this:

I know. You don’t have to say it. It’s geektastic but you know what… it’s working right now.

One more to go…

Jansen — Tue, 16 Dec 2008 18:05:02 +0000

Yesterday I took my third exam (torts).

Constitutional law and Contracts were 8-hour “take home” exams. My torts exam was a 4-hour examsoft exam.

Examsoft is a timed, basic version of MS Works, (more like Wordpad). It restarts your computer and locks you out of all other windows functions. When you finish the test, examsoft encrypts the test, reboots your computer, and uploads the test to the internet.

The exam was proctored by two intense women – “IS EVERYONE ON THE SAME SCREEN?”

Jill: “Wait! I typed in the wrong exam number.”
Proctor: “You did what? That’s never happened before… Go outside to the computer people and get it fixed. Everyone will be waiting on you.”

Jill gets her computer fixed. The proctor starts counting down to let us start… then,

Proctor #2: “Wait! Those two are sitting next to each other! MOVE ONE SEAT OVER!”
Jack: “Me?”
Proctor #1: “Yes you. You can’t sit next to someone! Move.”

The whole class watched Jack move all of his stuff over. Silence and awkwardness.

We finally get the go-ahead to start. I open the test. The test consists of one 7-page hypo: a Wal-Mart “Department Store” employee gets trampled on Black Friday. His pregnant wife sees the trampling and has a miscarriage. He also has a heart attack that isn’t detected at the hospital.

Oh dear.

After the exam, Stella and I went to a Chinese restaurant near the Stacks. We noticed police lights outside of the restaurant as we paid. We went outside and saw what the remmidemmi was about:

Oops.

Single car accident. His airbag went off.

There’s a presumption of negligence (hah I learned something!) And the cops agreed because they had the driver sitting in the police car. Someday I might represent people like that…assuming I get employed.

I only have one more test to go – Thursday’s Civil Procedure exam. Civil procedure is my favorite class because it’s the “how to be a lawyer” course…although a lot of people seem to hate it.

I have a hard time understanding how someone can attend law school and hate the course about the mechanics of lawyering (how to file a complaint, make motions, etc.)

It’s like a car-mechanic student hating an engine repair class…or a bodybuilder who hates lifting…

Oh, and re: the cold. It wasn’t that bad! The difference between 10 degrees and -30 is akin to Rugg’s negligence distinctions:

“Chief Justice Rugg’s famous distinctions among negligence, gross negligence and recklessness as being distinctions among a fool, a damned fool, and a God-damned fool.” (Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1959.)

Although I did see someone wearing shorts. Yes. Khaki shorts and a parka.

In -30.

His legs were SO red and everyone shot him the, “…no thou didn’t!” look. A housemate pointed out that at -30, you’re an excellent frost bite candidate if you’re wearing shorts…um, yeah….Fail.

More than Bitterly Cold?

Jansen — Mon, 15 Dec 2008 13:36:10 +0000

I went to Frank’s Hotdogs last night and had a chat with the owner (?) she’s a middle aged lady with several kids:

Owner: “So where ya from?”
Me: “I moved from Miami this past August.”
Owner: “OH MY GOD! You poor thing! You must think we’re crazy to live out here in this cold!”
Me: “Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s all about dressing appropriately…”

And then I wake up this morning and check the weather…

And the horror continued as I scrolled down the page…

…um.

Now there are SEVERAL problems with this.

Problem #1: The “feels like” temperature for today is -30.

I cannot fathom. Seriously. I cannot… but, I will have to because I have a torts final in an hour.

Problem #2: “Dangerous” wind chill of -40.

How fast is this wind blowing? 20, or maybe 30mph. I walk to school. Over the Mississippi. On this long-ass bridge:

Problem #3: (and this is the kicker) for tomorrow the high is -18. The description says, “bitterly cold.”

Dear weather channel.com: you’ve set me back a full 10 minutes because I have wrap my mind around this fuckery.

If -18 is bitterly cold…what the heck do you call today’s “feels like” -30?

They haven’t come up with a word have they? You sent Timmy the Intern outside to feel the -30 and he never came back! Timmy, I have your back. I’ll never forget!

Now there is a positive to all of this: I’m so preoccupied with being offended at the weather (and the weather channel.com!) that the final is not even a remote concern.

The three Joes…

Jansen — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 18:36:13 +0000

I walk in and Jamie has a look of utter disgust on his face.

Me: “What?”
Jamie: “I can’t believe you got three coffees.”
Me: “Burger King doesn’t have a large size for coffee. Only mediums!”
Jamie: “Issues.”
Me: “Blabla, law student during finals excuse. The school practically provides us with coffee IVs during finals…blabla-excuse-bla… I DO NOT HAVE A PROBLEM.”

As if I drink under 5 cups a day anyway… pfft. Crazy talk.

* the video on the screen is “Me and My Imagination” by Sophie Ellis-Bextor. It’s my official tort-final song.

I actually have an official song for each final.

For Contracts it was “Mausen” by MIA. and for Conlaw it was “Good Time” by Brazilian Girls.

Mr. Palsgraf: the Tort Snowman

Jansen — Sun, 14 Dec 2008 15:59:14 +0000

So the conversation went something like this…

Me: “I want to make a decapitated snowman like Jessie, from Boy in Suit!”
Jamie: “Uh…no. We can’t do that!”
Me: “Why not? It would be the tort snowman! Mr. Palsgraf!”
Jamie: “Too stereotypical for this neighborhood. We have too much crime….too much real blood in the snow for that to be appropriate!”
Me: “But it’s going to be ballin’ outrageous!”
Jamie: “THE FIRST SNOW MAN I MAKE AT MY HOUSE IS NOT GOING TO BE A TORT!”
Me: “Arg! Bitch, moan, plead, interpleader!!”
Jamie: “FINE! MAKE YOUR OWN SNOW MAN!”

So we went outside, and Jamie made his Snow-woman…

That’s a total Charlie Brown pose right there…

The Snow woman? I think it has breasts…and a snow six pack!

Mr. Palsgraf the tort snowman!

Again, this is completely copied from Jessie!

Then Jamie made what he calls a snow angel…

Me: “That does not look like a snow angel.”
Jamie: “What are you talking about? That’s totally a snow angel!”
Me: “Looks more like we forgot to take the lawn furniture in before it started to snow…”
Jamie: “TAKE THAT BACK!”
Me: “No. FAIL! Fail whale fail! Actually…that might be the imprint of the fail whale…”

Jamie then balled up some snow and committed assault and battery. I defended myself and attempted to retreat to the wall…but yeah, a full brawl snow fight erupted. This is the aftermath:

That’s the affect law school has: after studying torts we want to go out and commit them…