The hilarity isn’t limited to my Torts professor:

Professor V: “I was going to get all hysterical about a student using the wrong form of “its” but then I saw it on an ABA website this morning — so welcome to the club!“

Professor V: “Marshall defines commerce as intercourse, and since we aren’t in high school we don’t have to go “tee hee hee” about his word choice.”
Professor L: “You’re unlikely to see congress be quite this dumb, although close…”

And Professor T on intent:

“Whether you are strangling your roommate because you think you’re squeezing lemons, or strangling your roommate because you hate him…”

And, taking someone’s suggestion, I started a quote category, “On the Record.”