I’m the caretaker for my building. Part of the caretaker job is showing open units to the ghetto and the crazy, most of whom don’t show up for their appointments:

Me: “Hello, I’d like to speak to KeKe.
Old Lady: “What? Why? Who?”
Me: “KeKe. We had an appointment for an apartment showing at 1pm. It’s 1:15 now…”
Old Lady: “Oh, THE GIRL! Lemme find her…”
KeKe: “Yea?”
Me: “Hi Keke. This is Dennis from the Whittier Apartment building.”
KeKe: “Okay.”
Me: “…uh, well, we had a showing scheduled today for 1pm. It’s 1:15 now. Do you need directions?”
KeKe: “Oh I couldn’t find it.”
Me: “Okay, well…it’s at 321 West Mexico Street, right by the corner of Somalia Avenue.”
KeKe: “It’s at South Mexico?”
Me: “West.”
KeKe: “456 West Mexico Ave?”
Me: “No, 321 West Mexico Street.”
KeKe: “Oh…where that?”
Me: “By the corner of Mexico and Somalia Avenue… what direction are you coming from?”
KeKe: “South. I also have a UD. Is that a problem?”
Me: “An unlawful detainer?”
KeKe: “Yeah, see, there was this thing, and they said I wouldn’t move out and unfortunately that went in the landlord’s favor…”
Me: “Oh, well that’s likely a problem. Uh, do you meet the income requirements for the building? Your income needs to be three times rent.”
KeKe: “I make about $1,200 a month.”
Me: “Well rent is $650…”
KeKe: “Yeah nevermind.”

The next appointment was a no-show, wouldn’t answer their phone, and their mailbox was full. Sigh.