I pull two apples from my bag at work:

Me: “Ugh.”
Jack: “What?”
Me: “These aren’t organic so you can see the pesticide residue at the top of the apple. Jillian Michaels would not approve…”
Jack: “Ew, yeah. You’re gonna to have to wash those.”
Me: “But the sink is so far away… I should just…”
Jack: “Don’t. Just go and wash them. Stop being lazy.”

Fine.

So I’m walking down the hallway to the bathroom to wash the apples and decide that it would be a good idea to juggle them.¹ I haven’t juggled anything since third grade so it was only a few moments before I launch one of the apples down the hallway and give chase…

The apple flies past the cafeteria doors and I almost plow into a janitor before snatching up the apple like a baseball.

Janitor (calling by back into the cafeteria to another janitor):“Hey, Marty! The interns are playing fetch again!”

I grunt, flush, and scurry away…

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¹ It’s Saturday, so the office is fairly deserted. I don’t juggle fruit during the week…