Last night, after Trivia1 I had a long gchat conversation with Jack.
Jack stayed in Florida2 for law school, but we have had very similar dating experiences.
During the conversation, we were able to articulate the problem gay men in law school face: we have boobs.
Big, healthy, Pamela Anderson boobs.
I was going to post the entire conversation3 but here’s the premise: There is a generic gay4 ideal of the “young, educated, career-bound man” and we fit squarely within that.
Jack: “It is part gold digging, because only lawyers seem to be aware of the legal job market, and it’s part trophy-wife status because they can say, “Look, here is Jack, my boyfriend. He’s a law student. He must be smart, and therefore I am the shit for bagging the young educated man.”
Me: “It’s like being a blonde with big boobs.”
Jack: “Exactly. Call Kanye.”
[…]
Me: “And you never know if they are dating you because they actually like you, or because they want to be seen with the twins.”
Jack: “And then they get bored. We are not that interesting. After introducing you to everyone they realize that we are stressy, cranky, and prone acne.”
Me: “Speak for yourself. My skin is silky smooth, bitch!”
[…bitchyness ensues]
Jack: “But the question is, […] how much of being a law student is part of our personality?”
Me: “Besides the coffee consumption??”
Jack: “No, but seriously. Just like the guy dating Pam Anderson! There’s the huge question if he is only dating her for her body, but at the end of the day he wouldn’t be dating at her if he was repulsed by stacked blondes. And being THAT much of a stacked blonde isn’t natural. She sough it out …just like we sought out the abuse that is law school.”
Me: “So what do we do?”
Jack: “We wait.”
Me: “…for?”
Jack: “Graduation. We see if they still like us when we are baristas paying off student loans. It’ll be like a breast reduction.”
Me: “With lots of sagging skin.”
We then, in typical law student fashion, began assigning cup sizes to different schools. Am I the only one seeing a Halloween costume in this?
1 We won again, thank you.
2 He’s a gator, but we’ll forgive him.
3 With permission obviously.
4 I think it extends beyond gays, but gays tend to fall into the “I want a guy with abs” or “I want a guy with brains” camps.