My night1 started at a homeless shelter and ended in the E.R.
Eric wanted to go to the Gay 90’s because Sunday is that club’s busiest night. I spent most of the weekend working and moving to the new apartment, so I figured a random Sunday night at the club was warranted.
Our night started at the Minneapolis homeless shelter where we met up with Tee, who was just getting off work. (Eric volunteers at the shelter, and Tee works there full time.)
Tee insisted that she could not go to the clubhouse wearing jeans, so we took a long detour to Tee’s house where she threw on her House of Dereon dress…
I thought the night was over when we left the club, but I was wrong. I’m walking across Hennepin with what felt like the entire hiphop room of the Gay 90’s, when I hear popping sounds.
People scream and start running.
I feel something hit my back.
I stop on the curb and call over to T.
Me: “I think I got hit.”
Tee: “Shut up, where?”
(I lift up the back of my shirt and point.)
Tee: “OH MY GOD, they got you! They shot you!”
Me: “It’s a gunshot?”
Tee: “YES! THEY GOT YOU! (then to the street) HE GOT SHOT!”
I think, “Well that’s a new one...Okay, I’m not paralyzed, so I better get to a police officer before I pass out.”
I run back across Hennepin to the cops standing on the corner.
Me: “Hey Officer,”
(Officers look at me like I’m nuts)
Me: “I think I got shot.”
(I turn around and pull up my shirt.)
Officer: “Yep. Sit down. We’ll call the ambulance.”
Tee crosses the street and starts prodding my wound for the bullet. She keeps repeating that she thinks it just grazed me. I call mom.
Mom: “Huh?”
Me: “Hey, I just got shot.”
Mom: “You just got what?”
Me: “I just got shot.”
Mom: Where?”
Me: “In front of a club.”
Mom: “Why are you out on a Sunday?”
More police come. A stranger brings me a bottle of water.
Stranger: “You are shaking because you’re losing blood. That’s why you have to drink a lot of water.”
I found out that the lady stayed and prayed for me after I left…
So it’s around 2:30 a.m. on a Monday and I’m sitting downtown bleeding on the side of the street. Random people coming from clubs stop as they see the blood coming from my back. This isn’t cute. I had a pretty good idea that I was going to miss this morning’s civil procedure class…
The ambulance comes and the paramedics spend time stabbing me with needles and tubes, and ask if I have any allergies every five minutes.
I arrive at the E.R. and meet a team of people who will stab me with more tubes and ask whether I have allergies 10 more times.
A nurse then tells me that they are going to have to take off all my clothes. Do I have a problem with that?
Me: “I have a bullet in my back. It’s not the time for modesty.”
A few minutes later I’m covered with those wash-rag-like hospital blankets. A homicide detective comes in and asks me a few questions. I remind him that I’m not a homicide case yet, and that it was probably stray bullet. No, I didn’t get into a fight with anyone. No, I’m not a drug dealer or shady character. It’s not my fault, I swear.
I then get put into a room, get more tubes, and explain that I don’t have allergies a few more times.
Nurse: “We can’t tell through tests whether your lung was popped. Lung deflation is the biggest concern right now… so we are just going to have you wait for four hours and see what happens! Also, pee in this cup. We need to check if you have blood in your urine…”
Dandy.
Eric and Tee waited with me. I told them that as long as I wasn’t paralyzed that I was fine. I just hoped that I would get out of the hospital in time to walk Harley and that this wouldn’t interfere with finals. I also said that I didn’t mind the number they did on my shirt because I would have never gotten the blood off anyway:
Throughout the night the doctor kept vacillating between taking the bullet out and leaving it inside of me. She finally decided to leave the bullet be, so yes I’m attending Crimlaw tomorrow with a bullet lodged in my back…
The getting shot didn’t hurt at all because the bullet lodged right under my skin. It just felt like a hard slap on the back.
What did hurt however was when the doctor put new dressings on:
Oh, and when the doctor rinsed the gunshot wound it was awful. That “oh my god, why?” pain. We’ll see how I do tomorrow…
Tee has two tweens at home, so she had to leave around 4 a.m. Eric stayed with me the rest of the night. We were both cranky when I was finally let out around 9am.
I felt so trashy leaving the hospital. The doctors cut through my shirt and undershirt at the E.R., so I was only wearing my blazer and still sporting the test/scan stickers across my chest. And yes, the blazer has a bullet hole in it.
It was not one my classier moments.
The first thing I did when I got back to the apartment was take Harley on a walk. I had been gone for almost 11 hours and fully expected to find a mastiff-sized crap in the middle of my bed…but Harley was in front of the door wagging his tail. No crap in site.
Best dog ever.
I was on the phone for most of the walk. I talked to the police, the law school, family in Germany, classmates.
I’m going to pick up my books from school whenever I get up (I’ve been awake for about 29 hours)…and I should be in class tomorrow!
Just don’t pat me on the back. Thanks.
1 It’s easier to write a post about this once rather than relive the “how I got shot” story for everyone who asks about it. It was a freak accident, and I was lucky not to be paralyzed or killed. I’m really just down one Hollister shirt and a blazer…and one day of studying I suppose. We’ll see how bad moving around is going to be when I wake up…
I thought this post was a joke. But as I kept reading my eyes kept getting wider and wider. DUDE! You got shot! :X
I don’t have a lot of experience dealing with people who have recently been shot, but it seems like you’re handling it with a good attitude! Maybe you can convince your CrimLaw prof to put you in a hypo?
Glad Harley took your absence well…good puppy.
Get lots of rest – very glad you’re okay!!
Yikes! Glad you’re okay, let me know if you need notes from today’s classes or if I can help with anything. Congrats on the new apartment and Harley, he’s a beautiful dog!
Wow!! That’s awful. As bad as the whole incident was, I guess you’re also extremely lucky it wasn’t a whole lot worse! Anyway, here’s to hoping you make a speedy recovery, particularly with your finals coming up!
It just had to happen around finals time didn’t it? Glad you’re okay though, and thankfully it wasn’t much.
And yay for Harley being a good puppy!
I thought it was a joke at the beginning too or a story in class or something. Holy crap though! That’s intense. I… wow. I don’t even know. Crazy.
Glad you had Harley to go home to.
Thank goodness you’re all right! Getting shot in the back – that bullet could have lodged itself in so many places with such horrible consequences. Thank goodness that you’re fine.
I hope you make a speedy recovery, and that your wounds heal without causing you terrible pain. =/
I hope you get better, I had an armed robbery scare myself in July, glad you can walk and everything. Definitely should be a crimlaw hypo, since you are ok and all
Dennis Jansen is made of fury! He cannot be taken down by the uncaring hand of chance. May all his enemies and final exams tremble before his swift recovery!
That’s intense. Now is the time to take it easy.
I saw that you got shot on Twitter. Thought, like others, it must be hyperbole. Holy shit. Glad to hear you are going to be okay. Seriously, be careful out there. Please keep us posted on the aftermath…
jansen heaps of kudos to you matey. thought also this post was a headline grabber but woahhh – glad also you are on the mend. gd to hear about harley being a good boy while u were at ER. all the best + take care.
PS jamie’s post also sums it all up tho in a slightly more dramatic tone – nice one 2
Holy Crap! What an amazing story! Glad you are ok! Now back to studying, ’cause no law prof is ever going to believe that!
Whoa! Like everyone else, I thought this was a joke/hyperbole when I saw it on Twitter. So glad you’re ok! You have an amazing attitude for having been shot in the back. That Harley really is a star, too.
“I have a bullet in my back. It’s not the time for modesty.”
Only you would say that after a gunshot wound. Thankfully you’re fine.
You are unfuckingbelievably hardcore.
You sir, are incredible.
So how was class?
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Ok, how I saw this on ATL before I saw it on your blog is beyond me… blame it on finals brain.
DUDE! I am so glad you’re ok.
Also, ATL, wtf for calling his posts “mundane”? I read a LOT of mundane law school shit, and I write more of it. Jansen posts pics of tranny hot messes and finds the most insane judicial footnotes.
Best law student blog currently posting.
Congrats on making ATL, Jans.
Typical mom, too concerned that you’re out on a Sunday night to really hear the news that you’ve been shot!
Wow, Dennis. Glad to read that you’re okay. But to be shot on Hennepin? WTF? Maybe we should rethink living in Uptown and stick with Linden/E.Harriet?
Thank God your sense of humor wasn’t destroyed with your shirts! So bad ass and hilarious simultaneously! Recover quickly.
how was the gay club? did that have anything to do with the shooting?
Jesus, Jansen, that’s insane. Glad to hear you’re fine though. Still scary as shit. I guess CrimLaw will have a special significance for you now.
Minneapolis is too dangerous; I’m going to stick to New York.
To the person concerned about Uptown and violence–check google maps. Gay 90s is near the river and not near Uptown.
Great post. Sorry about the shooting. I grew up in the cities and have worked in Minneapolis. Never been shot.
If you get a chance, take tax law from Bronwen Cound.
ahhhhhhhhhh! wtf. i cant believe i’m so behind on jansen news!
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this is so weird, i cant believe it. I got shot the day before my first day of law school. random stray bullet through my arm. i cant believe how many similarities in my story and yours–hilarious things like your mom’s reaction and the nurses trying to be discreet when they undressed you are exactly the same as what happened to me! nice to e-meet you.
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