Summer school, experts, belching

Summer school started yesterday. Physical Evidence is my only course. It is 2 ½ hours long, twice a week, and is all presentations from guest speakers.

Our first presenter was an expert on polygraph tests. The theme was that polygraphs don’t work and have no scientific foundation. And apparently polygraph testers purposefully ask embarrassing questions, like “Do you masturbate in front of a mirror?”

And yes, that was the actual example that the expert used. The expert’s theory was that virtually all men have masturbated in front of a mirror. And apparently the one guy who hasn’t is in trouble:

Expert: “If you haven’t then you’ll fail the polygraph test. You want to have masturbated in front of the biggest mirror you could find. And hopefully you feel really crummy about it! So if you haven’t masturbated in front of a mirror you’re screwed!”

I understand that he wanted to liven up the presentation, but hearing the expert repeat the phrase “masturbated in front of a mirror” dozens of times was just awkward and uncomfortable.

Luckily the expert switched examples after about 20 minutes and replaced mirror masturbation with a more explicit version of “raped Suzie.” Charming…

Today’s topic was eyewitness testimony. The expert is an professor at the University of Arkansas Law School. He was engaging, direct, eloquent, and obviously had some prior litigation and public speaking training.

The only problem is that the length of the class makes the last 20 minutes terrible. I would even get bored with Kathy Griffin after two hours without a break.

Time slows down Matrix-style. People start taking bathroom breaks. One person falls asleep. Others fidget. It’s like the last part of Avatar, and rough, especially since the professor has expressly banned all internet use in class.

Next week I will bring some sort of non-obnoxious snack as a crutch for the end of class. Grapes maybe. I’m not sure. Someone had food on the first day, but he also belched during class, so I’m not following that lead. Don’t worry, I’m not going there…

5 thoughts on “Summer school, experts, belching

  1. I’m in summer school too – I always bring fruit to keep myself busy – grapes, raspberries, blackberries – and string cheese too. Internet is supposedly “banned” but everyone does it – if the prof starts walking my way I just hit ALT+tab and switch to a word doc so it looks like I’m taking notes. Also, I bring my ipod sometimes and charge it and/or make playlists and stuff to keep from getting to bored. And I do other things like make grocery lists and play solitaire :)

    • Haha, but this professor usually has a no-laptop policy, and his syllabus says that if he thinks we are zoning out he’ll make us stand up and quiz us on what was being said…and I think he reserves the right to lower our grade if we are caught online or doing any non-class related things with our laptop…I’m not going to test it.

    • Well this professor’s approach is unusually strict, but law school is harder in the US according to exchange students I’ve met and my friends who have studied abroad.

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