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February 2012
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Dennis Jansen

Drill master

Moving is like1 losing your keys or your cat dying: an all-consuming time suck that is completely uninteresting to everyone else. All of my free time this week was spent hauling things downstairs, dusting, carpet cleaning, standing in line at Home depot, and constructing things.

I took off work yesterday and spent about 9 hours drilling. I probably have lead poisoning from all that paint. I think I’ll develop a cough that will earn my some street-cred at my local VFW.

The drilling was necessary because my apartment was almost completely devoid of fixtures like kitchen hooks, shelving, toilet paper holders, etc.

So I ran around to Ikea, Target, and Home Depot , bought a ton of tools, shelves, hooks, and doohickeys, and spent the majority of yesterday outfitting the apartment.

The wall-mounting process took so long because the walls in my apartment are extremely inconsistent. In some places the walls are impenetrable because there is concrete or something behind the paint, and in other spots the wall just crumbles. There were more than a few Charlie Brown style “ARGS!”, but at least I finished and I can just move things downstairs now.

The dog situation is disastrous. They pee and shit throughout the apartment even after a 3-mile walk around Lake Calhoun. They also knocked over the dog-food storage bins and ate a week’s worth of food. Both dogs are extremely bloated and …this is just not going to end well…

They also figured out how to open the toilet, which is a problem because the toilet has that blue-water-cleaner stuff. So not only are the dogs bloated from gorging themselves, but they are semi-nauseous from toilet chemicals. Thank goodness I bought a steamer…


1 That’s a repurposed quote from Steven. Who is amazing.

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