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September 2010
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Dennis Jansen

Chubby Grace makes an observation

I ran into The Graces this morning.

The Graces are my neighborhood’s shockingly inappropriate trio of Native American vagrants. The Graces are like Matryoshka dolls: one is obese, another is chubby, and one is normal-sized.

I walked by the Graces on this morning’s dog walk. It’s 10am and the Graces are sitting on a retention wall passing a bottle of liquor1 when Chubby Grace spots my dog:

Chubby Grace: “Dog!”
Normal Grace: “Yes. A dog.”
Chubby Grace: “That’s a big dog.”
Obese Grace: “Sure is! Tee hee hee!
Chubby Grace: “And the dog has an asshole!

Obese and Normal Grace are occupied with the bottle.

Chubby Grace is transfixed on my dog’s butt.

I am uncomfortable.

Me: “Hm. I don’t know how to respond to that….but …have a great day!”

Harley and I scamper off, leaving the Graces with their bottle.

What the hell neighborhood. What. The. Hell.


1 Yes, at 10am on a Sunday. And this is odd because the bottle was in a brown bag and the liquor stores are closed on Sundays.

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