The past few days were full of long hours at the library, late nights at the office, post-finals celebrations, dog walks, rollerblading, dancing, cackling, and even a date. My goodness. How exhausting.

That second picture is of Jack and his crush, Jared McDreamy. Look at those cheesy smiles. Sigh.

And the [...]]]> Exams are over. I’m a 3L, and thrilled.

The past few days were full of long hours at the library, late nights at the office, post-finals celebrations, dog walks, rollerblading, dancing, cackling, and even a date.


My goodness. How exhausting.

That second picture is of Jack and his crush, Jared McDreamy. Look at those cheesy smiles. Sigh.

And the last exams?

A 3L said it best after Wednesday’s corporate tax law final:

Pissed 3L: “No other institution could get away with this. This is ridiculous. No other for-profit business could provide such shitty service for what they charge. Nothing works. The wireless doesn’t work. The printers don’t work. The staplers don’t work. Nothing fucking works in this entire school.”

I thought about that quote the next day while printing my Advanced Estate Planning exam.

I printed my exam from the computer lab because on Sunday I wasted an entire hour trying to print my international tax law outline from my laptop and I did not have the energy to go through that ordeal again.

I was also bleeding during my exam. That morning the dogs and I got caught in a rain storm during our morning walk. The rottweiler tripped me as we ran back home and I kissed some concrete. I noticed that my jeans were covered in blood when I got in my car to go to school. The skin of my knee was scraped off, but luckily I have a ton of first-aid supplies left over from 1L year.

So there I am, in the computer lab, printing while ignoring the throbbing pain of my knee, and of course there are no staples. BAH HUMBUG.

An empty stapler during the school year is a slight inconvenience, but an empty stapler during finals is worse than leggings. Well, maybe not…

At least it’s over.

Tomorrow I am going to the office for a few hours and then heading to a cafe to read a novel. Non-law students may not appreciate how glorious that is, but it trust me. It’s amazing.

One more year. Vöt!

Here are some pictures to prove that this finals season isn’t all about junkies and gloom: The ersatz police dog:

I haven’t seen my boyfriend in two weeks. He said he was going to come over tonight, but watched a movie with his roommate instead. These are busy times – they live together and haven’t seen each other in a [...]]]> It is 8pm. My Conflicts exam is in 12 hours. I feel tired, cranky, and ridiculous.

I haven’t seen my boyfriend in two weeks. He said he was going to come over tonight, but watched a movie with his roommate instead. These are busy times – they live together and haven’t seen each other in a week.

The cream in my coffee tastes off. I look at the “use by” date and it says November 15th. It is December 20th. Epic fail.

Then the dog farts. It smells like rotten mouse.

So I am sitting there – tired, lonely, with undrinkable coffee and unbreathable air. This is not going to work.

I take the dog on a walk. It isn’t so terribly cold, and the air is breathable.

When I come back to the apartment the air is safe again. I dump the coffee and creamer., and pour a fresh cup.

I then sit down, retool the outline, and get it done. 2 more exams and I’m done!

Professor L: “The reason I give you eight hour exams is not just sadism. That’s just a part of it! I like people to suffer…”

She then went on to say that the time limit is to give us time to think about, and flesh-out our answers, but [...]]]> Professor L explained why our exam is eight hours:

Professor L: “The reason I give you eight hour exams is not just sadism. That’s just a part of it! I like people to suffer…”

She then went on to say that the time limit is to give us time to think about, and flesh-out our answers, but that was lost in the nervous laughter.

I knew to worry two days ago when I read the sample multiple choice question for the exam:

In State v. Hennepin County, the majority opinion declined to address the BFOQ issue raised by Justice Coyne’s dissenting opinion because:

Joel and I had a conversation about law school on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner. It was a familiar whine-fest and the gist was:

“It’s funny how law schools don’t tell prospective students how irrelevant “prestige” is or how shitty our employment prospects are. This is [...]]]> It is easy to fall into a funk during finals.

Joel and I had a conversation about law school on the way home from Thanksgiving dinner. It was a familiar whine-fest and the gist was:

“It’s funny how law schools don’t tell prospective students how irrelevant “prestige” is or how shitty our employment prospects are. This is something you realize halfway through, when you’re stuck.”

I felt like a student who found out his online technical college wasn’t accredited. This was an expensive waste of time. Shitty-shitty-bang-bang, wah-wah-wah. The whining and apathy probably wasn’t easy to listen to, but luckily Joel couldn’t figure out a good way to kick me out of the car at the nearest bus stop.

I try to take the dog on at least one 5 mile walk every day during the few hours of winter daylight. These extended walks are perfect for thinking things through. During today’s walk I reminded myself of why I chose to go to UMN and not a free school:

1. Prestige does matter. The arbitrary rankings create a very real pecking order and stigmatize students from poorly ranked schools. When I run into a student who goes to Bumble Law School I am reminded of the sweeping sense of inferiority I felt as an undergrad at the University of Miami. The most important part of being at a (relatively) prestigious school is not wondering “what if?”
2. The cliché is misstated, but the gist true. You can’t really do anything with a law degree, but the most important thing that is taught in law school is the art of ass busting.¹ My job prospects as a BA in English and History only involved an espresso machine or a price scanner. I may still end up working with espresso machines or price scanners, but the difference is the work ethic and professionalism I have acquired in law school will allow me to advance quickly in whatever company I end up in. ²

The ass busting skill is the most vital one to develop in law school. Most of the other stuff is superficial and unspeakably irrelevant in the real world.

I am MacGyver, and I attend a school of MacGyvers.

This is exactly why this is going to be a stress-free finals season – it’s not about the grade, but about working hard and learning the material. The point is not being able to make a rocket out of a ballpoint pen and a paper clip better than the next guy, but to be able to make the rocket out of the ballpoint pen. Once we get outside of the McGuiver academy we can use our skills in the real world, and good things will happen.³

Me: “That was special.” Jill: “Yeah. Oh my god…I feel like I’m out of breath or something!”

I actually enjoyed studying for the Crimlaw final. It’s amazing how much a class can suck all of the life out of a subject.

I had a sneaking [...]]]> I took my Criminal Law final this afternoon. It was basically a typing contest.

Me: “That was special.”
Jill: “Yeah. Oh my god…I feel like I’m out of breath or something!”

I actually enjoyed studying for the Crimlaw final. It’s amazing how much a class can suck all of the life out of a subject.

I had a sneaking feeling all semester that if I only “delved into the material” more, that I would actually like the class. Hm. Next time!

The grass started turning green a month ago, but the trees have remained leafless – until this week. Sometime overnight all the trees decided to blossom.

It’s as if the mayor pressed some secret spring button.1

I feel like I’m in some parallel Paula Dean Garden [...]]]> I think that thing they call spring is here.

The grass started turning green a month ago, but the trees have remained leafless – until this week. Sometime overnight all the trees decided to blossom.

It’s as if the mayor pressed some secret spring button.¹

I feel like I’m in some parallel Paula Dean Garden universe. I got so used to winter that I forgot that there are other seasons…

Harley and I spent the week exploring the extensive park system in the neighborhood. The amount of parks, lakes, and nature trails surrounding downtown is ridiculous.

I suspect I moved back to Germany and no one has told me yet, especially when I look at the Fachwerk houses in the neighborhood:

I need to stop bringing coffee on these walks. The same thing happens every time: I start the walk with a cup of coffee and when we are 4 or 5 miles from home I realize “oh shit, I need to pee.”

This is of course the point when Harley gets tired and is all, “wait, why are we rushing all of the sudden?”

He then decides that every tree, squirrel, and gardener is worth inspection.

My bladder starts crying…and disaster strikes.²

And don’t be fooled by the “Minnesota Nice” stereotype – even Minnesotans will give you filthy looks when you’re raging down the street, screaming “GOD DAMN DA COFF-FAAAY!!!” while grabbing your crotch and dragging a 100lb dog…

There have been plenty of times this week when I’ve wanted to scream upon getting home. Harley has started trashing the apartment.

I tweeted about the destruction and was directed by @Karpul to this article on the Humane Society Website. The topic? Dog Separation Anxiety. The gist? He’s destroying the apartment because he misses me and loves me.

Now before you say “awe” remember I am not seeing love when I’m cleaning up shredded novels marinating in puddles of piss.

No. That ain’t love.

And of course the article says scolding the dog will ONLY MAKE IT WORSE!

Well… crap!

You mean I come home to a destroyed, pee-soaked apartment and I can’t bitch at anyone? This is supremely unfair.

And the most ridiculous thing is that Harley didn’t start this chaos until recently. I guess that means he didn’t like me enough before…

In order to help him adjust, I decided to study at Dunn Brothers today. I left Harley a pork bone and hoped for the best. Of course he completely demolished the kitchen – broke dishes, dragged the trash everywhere, and then pissed all over the front door.

And no, he did not need to pee – we had gone on a two hour walk this morning. Minneapolis is perfumed with this dog’s pee. It was pure spite…or according to the humane society, yellow love…

One redeeming thing about Harley is his “don’t mess with me or I’ll eat you” size. He even keeps Meth Molly away.

However, Harley’s size did fail to keep the crazy away this week – we were walking in Uptown (on Lyndale) when I saw this sketchtastic guy sitting at a bus stop across the street.

He was bald, pasty-white, emaciated, and had no eye brows ala Alexander Litvinenko (or Powder) and of course STARING RIGHT AT ME.

So I smiled politely and directed Harley down the street. Of course a few blocks later I see that powder had crossed the street and was storming down the sidewalk right behind us! I have seen waaay too many zombie movies for this to be okay. Seriously, this guy looked like the last day of chemo…or day 28…

So I took a sharp turn and literally RAN down the block as much as I could before he made it to the corner. What the hay…

The sprint worked, but I ran into the creep at another bus stop on Hennepin. He glared at me from across the street. I wondered if Harley would catch whatever that guy had if Harley decided to eat him…

In addition to running from zombies and cleaning up pee, I took my first final exam this week. The subject was Property, and it was not as horrible as everyone expected. My only grief is that there were NO future interests/estates problems! Not a single one!

All that time spent on learning the vesting categories? A waste.

The $20 I spent on the supplemental future interest book? An utter waste…especially since I barely looked at the book…

Tomorrow is my Criminal Law Final, and Friday is Corporations. Crimlaw is strangely pleasant to study…which is odd given how incredibly dull that class was…

I’ve also spent an inordinate amount of time thinking about “what kind of law I want to practice” and decided that it’s a silly question. I am not so limited in my interests that I wouldn’t be perfectly content practicing in most fields. I know that seems sacrilegious to say, but I don’t think I’m the only person who likes law enough to be happy in most fields…

Heck, I think most students at my school would be open to most areas of law. And most of us feel silly when lawyers (and parents, and friends) ask us what field we want to practice in, since the first year of law school gives us no clue of what private practice is actually like.³

There are a few former Business School kids and future public defenders who know exactly what they want to do (to the exclusion of all other opportunities) but most of us have no idea…

The real question is what type of firm will hire me? I love my school, but I’m aware of its limitations. UMN is reputable enough that nearly everyone will pass the bar, but not so prestigious that everyone will have a job upon graduation.

I have decided that the answer is not to claw my way into the top 5% since even biglaw has its problems.

The point (for me at least) isn’t to get a prestigious job just because that’s what everyone else is doing. My goal is to have a career that allows me to do challenging work and pay off my student loans before I’m 40.

…oh, and a job that allows me to afford dog training…since I’m sick of this yellow love business.

Oh and classes are still going on apparently. Most of my section has become impatient with classes. Here’s a rundown: