One more to go…

Yesterday I took my third exam (torts).

Constitutional law and Contracts were 8-hour “take home” exams. My torts exam was a 4-hour examsoft exam.

Examsoft is a timed, basic version of MS Works, (more like Wordpad). It restarts your computer and locks you out of all other windows functions. When you finish the test, examsoft encrypts the test, reboots your computer, and uploads the test to the internet.

The exam was proctored by two intense women – “IS EVERYONE ON THE SAME SCREEN?”

Jill: “Wait! I typed in the wrong exam number.”
Proctor: “You did what? That’s never happened before… Go outside to the computer people and get it fixed. Everyone will be waiting on you.”

Jill gets her computer fixed. The proctor starts counting down to let us start… then,

Proctor #2: “Wait! Those two are sitting next to each other! MOVE ONE SEAT OVER!”
Jack: “Me?”
Proctor #1: “Yes you. You can’t sit next to someone! Move.”

The whole class watched Jack move all of his stuff over. Silence and awkwardness.

We finally get the go-ahead to start. I open the test. The test consists of one 7-page hypo: a Wal-Mart “Department Store” employee gets trampled on Black Friday. His pregnant wife sees the trampling and has a miscarriage. He also has a heart attack that isn’t detected at the hospital.

Oh dear.

After the exam, Stella and I went to a Chinese restaurant near the Stacks. We noticed police lights outside of the restaurant as we paid. We went outside and saw what the remmidemmi was about:

Oops.

Single car accident. His airbag went off.

There’s a presumption of negligence (hah I learned something!) And the cops agreed because they had the driver sitting in the police car. Someday I might represent people like that…assuming I get employed.

I only have one more test to go – Thursday’s Civil Procedure exam. Civil procedure is my favorite class because it’s the “how to be a lawyer” course…although a lot of people seem to hate it.

I have a hard time understanding how someone can attend law school and hate the course about the mechanics of lawyering (how to file a complaint, make motions, etc.)

It’s like a car-mechanic student hating an engine repair class…or a bodybuilder who hates lifting…


Oh, and re: the cold. It wasn’t that bad! The difference between 10 degrees and -30 is akin to Rugg’s negligence distinctions:

“Chief Justice Rugg’s famous distinctions among negligence, gross negligence and recklessness as being distinctions among a fool, a damned fool, and a God-damned fool.” (Harvard Law Record, April 16, 1959.)

Although I did see someone wearing shorts. Yes. Khaki shorts and a parka.

In -30.

His legs were SO red and everyone shot him the, “…no thou didn’t!” look. A housemate pointed out that at -30, you’re an excellent frost bite candidate if you’re wearing shorts…um, yeah….Fail.

More than Bitterly Cold?

I went to Frank’s Hotdogs last night and had a chat with the owner (?) she’s a middle aged lady with several kids:

Owner: “So where ya from?”
Me: “I moved from Miami this past August.”
Owner: “OH MY GOD! You poor thing! You must think we’re crazy to live out here in this cold!”
Me: “Oh, it’s not that bad. It’s all about dressing appropriately…”

And then I wake up this morning and check the weather…

And the horror continued as I scrolled down the page…

…um.

Now there are SEVERAL problems with this.

Problem #1: The “feels like” temperature for today is -30.

I cannot fathom. Seriously. I cannot… but, I will have to because I have a torts final in an hour.

Problem #2: “Dangerous” wind chill of -40.

How fast is this wind blowing? 20, or maybe 30mph. I walk to school. Over the Mississippi. On this long-ass bridge:

Problem #3: (and this is the kicker) for tomorrow the high is -18. The description says, “bitterly cold.”

Dear weather channel.com: you’ve set me back a full 10 minutes because I have wrap my mind around this fuckery.

If -18 is bitterly cold…what the heck do you call today’s “feels like” -30?

They haven’t come up with a word have they?  You sent Timmy the Intern outside to feel the -30 and he never came back! Timmy, I have your back. I’ll never forget!

Now there is a positive to all of this: I’m so preoccupied with being offended at the weather (and the weather channel.com!) that the final is not even a remote concern.

Mr. Palsgraf: the Tort Snowman

So the conversation went something like this…

Me: “I want to make a decapitated snowman like Jessie, from Boy in Suit!”
Jamie: “Uh…no. We can’t do that!”
Me: “Why not? It would be the tort snowman! Mr. Palsgraf!”
Jamie: “Too stereotypical for this neighborhood. We have too much crime….too much real blood in the snow for that to be appropriate!”
Me: “But it’s going to be ballin’ outrageous!”
Jamie: “THE FIRST SNOW MAN I MAKE AT MY HOUSE IS NOT GOING TO BE A TORT!”
Me: “Arg! Bitch, moan, plead, interpleader!!”
Jamie: “FINE! MAKE YOUR OWN SNOW MAN!”

So we went outside, and Jamie made his Snow-woman…


That’s a total Charlie Brown pose right there… Continue reading “Mr. Palsgraf: the Tort Snowman” »