The paper is supposed to [...]]]> Yesterday morning I woke up around 6 a.m. and felt like the plague hit. So I emailed my boss and rolled back into bed. I finally dragged myself to my finals situation room (aka Starbucks) by 11 a.m. and worked on my Weimar Cinema essay until my 5:30 p.m. class.

The paper is supposed to be 15 page. I got 11 done, so good progress I suppose.

And then I had my last formal class of law school…

…which really isn’t a law school class.

But I am not done. The tax clinic expects me to work until next Friday, which is frustrating because my facebook stream is full of all of my friends declaring that finals are done and summer is here. And yet here I sit on hold for another week.

Law school feels like Avatar: creepy blue people and an ending that just won’t come soon enough.

I’m sure it was a good idea at the time.

I then skipped to The Purple Onion Café in Dinkytown. This was my view for three hours:

I was at the Purple Onion [...]]]> The day started at the park with the dogs. I didn’t have time to walk them around Lake Calhoun, so Fair Oaks Park had to do.

I then skipped to The Purple Onion Café in Dinkytown. This was my view for three hours:

I was at the Purple Onion to write a response paper for my German Cinema class.

I left the café just as the girl behind me started a full-blown rant about how going to college is equivalent to military service. Her friend then said that he would rather be shot at than complete his economics homework. I resisted the temptation to glare.

I didn’t appreciate most of my time at the University of Miami, so I can’t fault the bratty undergrad. He has no idea how privileged he is.

I then took one of the smaller bridges on campus back to the law school.

My ears froze on that bridge. I was convinced that I had frost bite but I knew it was not THAT cold because the river is no longer completely frozen over:

It still hurt to be outside.

I got comfort food, settled into the tax clinic, and started drafting letters and calling new clients.

Whatever, my diet is uncompromised.

After a few hours at the tax clinic it was time to go back across the river for German Cinema. I was SHOCKED that it was bright at 5pm because I am used to pitch blackness at 4:30pm. Does this mean I can stop taking Vitamin D pills?

Apparently seniors throw shoes on it for good luck on their last final. I suspect these are the stinky, long-forgotten gym shoes discovered during end-of-the-year dorm clean out.

I got to reacquaint myself with the equipment and stare at the roided bulky undergrads. I want to be a Gorilla Juicehead for Halloween, so I have a long way to go. Fist pumps!

My presence in yesterday’s class underscored how pointless attendance is sometimes. I slogged through rush-hour traffic on slick roads for a 15-minute “wrap up” session that should have been tacked on to last week’s class.

I spent more time in [...]]]> I had my last formal¹ law school class session yesterday evening.

My presence in yesterday’s class underscored how pointless attendance is sometimes. I slogged through rush-hour traffic on slick roads for a 15-minute “wrap up” session that should have been tacked on to last week’s class.

I spent more time in traffic than in class, and MPR News during the car ride was more informative than anything covered in class.

At least now I can say that I had a semester of perfect attendance.

It is also a gorgeous fall day. So to campus we went. We parked on the West Bank walked across the Washington Avenue bridge as I listened to MPR on the blackberry.

I [...]]]> I love walking the dogs on campus during the weekends. The University of Minnesota campus is huge, and mostly abandoned on Saturdays.

It is also a gorgeous fall day. So to campus we went. We parked on the West Bank walked across the Washington Avenue bridge as I listened to MPR on the blackberry.

I notice several large groups of people on the East Bank and I assume that there is a football game or something. No big deal. I then see a large line just as I hear MPR news announcer say, “Lines already  forming the U of M campus for President Obama’s visit.”

Crap.

I try to avoid the massive line of people and head towards the gym…but that whole side of campus is cordoned off with police tape. So I end up in a narrow corridor between buildings that is filled with part of the massive line of people and only two feet of space to walk.

Harley doesn’t care about the people, but things get too claustrophobic for the Rottweiler. Gertrude stops and sits down. I am officially the asshole who inappropriately brought his big dogs to an event.

I smile, sweat, and try to drag the rottweiler along without seeming too animal-abusey. The Rottweiler isn’t having it. Everyone stares. The rottweiler then goes to the nearest guy and shoves her head in between his legs to hide.

Awkwardness ensues.

I keep smiling and eventually extricate the dog. The rest of the walk goes without a hitch, but I am flustered, sweaty, and deeply embarrassed. I’m so glad that I can spend the rest of the day hiding in my cubicle. Hopefully I’ve met my public fail quota for the month.

I finally figure out why:

The Gucci ad on the back of my Vanity Fair magazine makes it look like a smut rag.

I forgot about the pearl-clutching action that [...]]]> I’m walking across campus. People glance at me, smirk, and avert their eyes. Some people laugh openly.

I finally figure out why:

The Gucci ad on the back of my Vanity Fair magazine makes it look like a smut rag.

I forgot about the pearl-clutching action that went on in at the grocery store when I bought the magazine (a granny saw it) and now half of campus thinks I’m carrying smut around. Ugh.

Stay classy, Gucci

One of the biggest to-dos on campus is the student tuition protest.

Last year the grad students marched about student fees, and this year there is more of a general tuition protest. There are angry fliers, people pounding on drums, yelling. General pissyness.

I went to a super-pricey1 private [...]]]> Oh public schools.

One of the biggest to-dos on campus is the student tuition protest.

Last year the grad students marched about student fees, and this year there is more of a general tuition protest. There are angry fliers, people pounding on drums, yelling. General pissyness.

I went to a super-pricey¹ private university, so I’m unsympathetic. My theory is this:

• You’re smart. There are scholarships. Apply for them.
• The government guarantees loans to grad students, and gives free money and subsidized loans to needy undergrads. Use those resources.
• Your education should theoretically result in employment that will pay the loans. There are also loan-forgiveness programs for those that go into the public sector.

You can’t even get a public sector job with your fancy degree? Well, higher education in obscure or unprofitable fields is a luxury, not a right. If you major in something like early modern Peruvian art history (or law) you can’t demand that the state pay for it via reduced tuition.

Should have majored in nursing or I.T.

It feels like this east bank building was scaffolding just a few days ago. Construction pictures are here, and here.

I’m not sure if it’s ugly or not. It sort of looks like a [...]]]> The university may have financial issues, but that doesn’t mean there isn’t money for a swank new building:

It feels like this east bank building was scaffolding just a few days ago. Construction pictures are here, and here.

I’m not sure if it’s ugly or not. It sort of looks like a kiosk from the Theme Park video game.

On homework:

Orientation Leaders: “You’ll get your assignments on Friday, don’t worry about them now.”

10 minutes later:

Professor: “Read pages 1-5, [...]]]> Today was a slightly shorter day of orientation. The 1Ls are still good troopers, but it was a personally frustrating day for some orientation leaders because we were constantly undermined by presenters:

On homework:

Orientation Leaders: “You’ll get your assignments on Friday, don’t worry about them now.”

10 minutes later:

Professor: “Read pages 1-5, 7-20, 30-36. Read EVERY WORD of the first case. It’s mostly Latin…”

On Professors:

1L: “I read on Rate My Professor that Professor Palsgraff is a horrible person who can’t teach and tortures bunnies. Is that true?!”
Orientation Leaders: “Well, everyone has different learning styles and everyone’s favorite professor is someone else’s least favorite. And although Professor Palsgraff may not be the most energetic speaker, she is at the top of her field, dedicated to her students, and surely only kicks the bunnies who deserve it.”

10 minutes later:

Student Speaker: “Oh and I heard you had Palsgraff for one of your classes! HAH! Lemme tell ya – you won’t learn SQUAT from Palsgraff, she’s a horrible teacher and wrings bunnies’ necks till the light leaves their eyes…”

On employment:

Orientation Leaders: “And don’t worry too much about jobs right now, you can’t even contact the career center until late in the semester…”

10 minutes later:

Career Center Speaker: “Hi, we are a resource here for you! We can’t contact you until the fall, and employers even later, but let me give you a 10 minute spiel about employment stuff so you freak out. Oh, and there’s an online system called Symplicity and although you don’t have access to it …jobs, jobs, ra-ah-ah, jobs jobs, o la, la…

Oh and “like” us on facebook!”

Life/Work balance:

Orientation Leaders: “You can successfully balance school and life! Just remember to be efficient in your studies and you’ll have free time…”

10 minutes later:

Speaker: “…and although you all will be TERRIBLY STRESSED AND OVERLOADED and wallowing in your deep pit of despair…”

Well crap.

After orientation, I made a brief trip to the office and spent the rest of the evening with Alesus, flanked by dogs, watching Rachael Zoe.

Alesus moved to my neighborhood yesterday, so this will probably become a common occurrence, much to Gertrude’s annoyance. No one puts THAT baby in a corner…

Only one more day of orientation left, and then a weekend of work!